Almost Kinda Sorta

They Call Me Free, But I Call Me A Fool

Remember that talk about NaNoWriMo?  Yeah, forget that.  Haven’t written another NaNo word since then.

We had an early release today, somewhat unplanned.  I went out to lunch with a group of other new teachers. I went to Target to buy my husband some new video game.  I saw some of my students–they expertly avoided me (and I them).  I came home and caught up on reading blogs for over an hour.

And, I got to thinking.  Thinking about how I don’t have the time or energy anymore to think.  To reflect.  There is something about teaching that just sucks the brainpower out of me.

I miss thinking about things that don’t relate to lesson plans or grading or all the things I need to do.  I miss sitting down to enjoy a moment.  I miss sitting with this computer in my lap and writing about the most mundane things.

I feel like I’m just rushing through each day, waiting for those glorious days of summer when I will be free to think again.  Free to accomplish something.

Because, even on days like today when I have a moment to blog.  When I feel that desire to say something truthful and meaningful, this boring garbage is all I can seem to pump out.

I believe words are powerful–so powerful, and I feel as I’ve lost the words.